#but having her literally possessed by the baron was just nonsense

[thenotoriousscuttlecliff]

Children of Dune where everything is the same except instead of the Baron, Alia is haunted by her father, who gives her nothing but love, support and encouragement.

[catsafarithewriter]

“Is now a bad time to tell you that I’ve summoned a demon in the kitchen again or should I wait until after you’re done talking on the phone?”

A/N: I’ve actually received this prompt twice, but I have two different ideas for this, so ya’ll gonna get two variations. This one should be fairly self explanatory, even if it is an AU. 

x

“No, no, no, the contract clearly states that your insurance covers damage by demons, fae, and people under possession.” Haru leant over her laptop, resisting the urge to pace as she scrolled through the minuscule small print set before her. Her leg bounced impatiently. “No, nowhere does it say that the individual being possessed must be one of the contract owners. Yes, I’m looking at paragraph f, clause 2, and it does not specify any limitation on the identity of the possessed individual...”

There was a tap at the doorway, and Haru glanced up to see her housemate and fellow witch lingering at the lounge doorway. “What?” Haru mouthed.

“Is now a bad time to tell you that I’ve summoned a demon in the kitchen again,” Hiromi whispered, “or should I wait until after you’re done talking on the phone?”

Haru stared. She missed whatever the insurance man was saying. “Hold, please,” she chimed and hung up. “What?” she demanded. 

Hiromi didn’t look as nervous as the last time there’d been a demon incident, just sheepish which was... reassurance of a kind. “Demon,” she said. “In the kitchen.”

Haru was already rising to her feet and making a beeline for the offending room. “Tell me you weren’t messing around with summoning circles again.”

“It’s not ‘messing around,’” Hiromi protested, following after her. “It’s experimentation. We’re out of teabags, and I just thought that if I updated the traditional summoning circle, I could save myself the hassle of going to the shops. My circle technique is flawless, but instead of tea, I summoned...”

Haru came to a halt in the kitchen. 

“You summoned a cat.”

“He does have tea with him though,” Hiromi offered weakly. 

The figure standing atop their kitchen table was about a foot in height and mostly resembled a ginger feline wearing a morning suit. He was, indeed, holding a cup of tea in one gloved hand, albeit about the size of a thimble’s worth. 

“Where am I?” he asked. His voice calm and proper, the kind of accent that Haru would usually find in one of Hiromi’s British period dramas. He looked down to the salt circle and markings around him and then back to the two witches. “What am I doing here?”

Haru groaned and rounded on the cupboards. “Hiromi, help me exorcise him.” 

“I’ve already got the book.”

“Exorci... Wait, I think you’ve got me confused with someone else.”

Haru collapsed down onto the kitchen stool, a pouch of herbs and beans in hand. “Look, just sit back and let us banish you back to whatever realm of hell you’ve originated from and then I can go back to butting heads with another kind of demon.”

“I am not a demon.”

“Sure you’re not. And Hiromi here didn’t accidentally summon you out of her own laziness.”

“Hey,” Hiromi protested. “I resent that.”

“It literally would have been quicker at this point to buy teabags from the corner store.”

Hiromi grumbled but took the seat opposite Haru. 

The demon began to look uneasy, glancing between the two witches. “I’m not a demon,” he repeated. “I’m a Creation.” He flinched as Hiromi slammed the book onto the table and started rifling through its aged pages. He began speaking quicker. “I was in my Bureau making tea when you brought me here, so your summoning spell must have made a mistake somewhere-”

“Sure, sure. Hiromi, you got the spell yet?”

“Give me a moment...”

“I’m telling you, I am not a demon.”

Haru glanced down to the creature. “Okay. If you’re not, then just step out of the salt circle.” She smirked at his bemusement and looked away. “I thought not. Hiromi, it’s in chapter 5.”

“I know, I know...” 

Something tapped her arm. She absent-mindedly brushed it away and felt a tiny hand on her skin. She dragged her gaze down and met the poised expression of the demon. “You did say-”

Haru jolted back, a yelp in her throat and her chair slipping and she clattered back in a tangle of limbs and chair legs. Her head hit the tiled floor with a resounding smack and she saw stars for an instant. Then the world swam back into place and she was still on the floor, staring up at the table and the horrified face of the not-demon. 

“Miss Witch, I am so sorry-”

Whatever had to say was brought to an abrupt halt as he was punted off the table. 

Haru yelped again. “Hiromi! It’s fine - he didn’t-” She groaned and collapsed back down, her head still spinning. “Ugh,” she finished with and closed her eyes. 

“Haru? Are you okay?”

Haru winched an eye open and squinted at her friend. “I think I hit my head pretty badly on the floor,” she grunted. “Where...? Where did you get the lacrosse stick from?”

“It was the first thing I could grab from the closet.” She had the stick raised warily in the last seen direction the not-demon had been thrown into. “Are you sure he didn’t do anything?”

“You’ve known me for how long and you're still surprised by my clumsiness?” Haru croaked. “You have not been paying attention. And I’m sure. Hiromi, I don’t think he’s a demon.”

“As I kept trying to tell you.” 

Haru rolled her head back and watched the creature rise to his feet and dust down his suit. “I am a Creation,” he said. “A figurine created with all the heart of their artisan who thus gained a soul.”

“So,” Haru said, “not a demon.”

“Not a demon.” He tilted his head. “Miss Witch, I do believe you have injured yourself in that nasty fall.”

“I’m fine.”

“You look like you have suffered a concussion.”

“Nonsense. Could someone with concussion do this?”

He waited a moment. “Do what?”

“Cartwheels. Am I not doing them?”

“Miss Witch, I do believe you need to see a doctor.”

Haru grimaced. “I guess you haven’t heard that joke before. Hiromi, wasn’t that joke funny?”

“Hilarious,” Hiromi deadpanned. “But it’d be a lot funnier if he didn’t have a point. Come on, can you move to the sofa?”

“I’m fine.”

“Liar.” 

The world was still gently rocking, so Haru didn’t complain too much further as she was helped to the settee, sinking into the comfort of the cushions with a groan. She dropped her head to one side and located the not-demon/Creation leaping up onto the kitchen counter. “What are you doing?”

He looked back. “You did summon me for tea, didn’t you, Miss Witch? It seems the least I can do after scaring you in such a manner.”

“Teabags, technically, and it was Hiromi who did the summoning, and you didn’t scare me, but...” She shook her head, and then immediately regretted it. The world swum some more. “And you can stop calling me ‘Miss Witch’. It’s Haru.”

The Creation nodded. “Very well, Miss Haru.” He flicked the kettle on with a swipe of his cane and glanced back to her. “You may call me Baron.”